


light as a feather, taut as a bowstring

by Anonymous



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Social Media, a lil bit of angst, alpha!nathan, author takes awful hiatuses pls be patient ToT, judicious use of real life, no beta we die like men, omega!yuzuru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24472588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Top 13 Unmated Omegas Who Are Too Hot For Any Alpha To Handle!Our team at Buzzfeed took polls from single alphas of both genders between the ages 18-32 to determine a very important question—which celebrity omegas do modern alphas dream about—but think are untouchable? Read on to find out!#3 Japan’s ice prince—Yuzuru HanyuHanyu was already popular in his home country, but his fame reached explosive levels when he presented as an omega a week after winning the Sochi Olympics. Sources report that his scent is that of jasmine tea—quite fitting for this classic Japanese beauty. Driven, successful and an outspoken advocate for omega rights, Hanyu has no time for courting alphas in his life. That doesn’t mean you can’t admire from afar! With that in mind, we’ve added some of Hanyu’s most gorgeous captures for our alphas to drool over—look, but don’t touch!Nathan clicks the back button so fast his phone nearly slips from his grasp. Still, he can’t get the image of Yuzuru’s intent stare out of his head—looking out from the glass screen, blue roses intertwined around him.
Relationships: Nathan Chen/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 51
Kudos: 169
Collections: Anonymous





	1. i.

_November 2016, Tokyo_

Logically, Nathan knows that people aren’t as perfect in real life as they are on screen. That doesn’t stop him from nearly walking into a wall when he sees Yuzuru Hanyu for the first time. 

No, scratch that. _Second_ time. 

The first time he meets Hanyu in person can hardly be called a meeting at all; Haneda International Airport is congested with fans, cameras and reporters on the hunt. Hanyu, being an Olympic Champion, World Champion and multiple Grand Prix Final Winner, is escorted by a small convoy of attendants. Nathan sticks with Team USA and they wait near the sidelines for the commotion to die down. 

“Dang, we really should have gotten here earlier,” groans Alex. 

“Bold of you to assume Yuzu’s fans wouldn’t already be here,” answers Maia, tilting her phone for another selfie. 

“Is it— _always_ like this?” asks Nathan, vaguely nonplussed. NHK’s his first senior competition but he can’t imagine surviving the shutter of camera lenses and flash glares everywhere he goes. 

Adam snorts. 

“Only for skating superstars who also happen to be hot omega models.”

“Adam!” hisses Maia. Her mild beta scent sharpens with displeasure. 

“Hey, I’m just spelling it out.”

Nathan gets a glimpse of Yuzuru Hanyu through the mass of humanity. He’s wearing an all-black ensemble—tight fitted shirt and jeans, with JAPAN written in proud crimson on his white jacket. He’s got a polite smile on his face, and his features light up as he laughs, but Nathan can’t help but feel that the happiness runs only skin-deep. 

The gleam of Hanyu’s trio of amulets catches his eye—they’re for a sponsorship or something, right? He says as much to Vincent, who puffs up with self-importance only the way a middle-schooler who’s a know-it-all can. 

“It’s for a sponsorship with Phiten Jewellery. They make custom titanium accessories—they’re really big in Asia. People think they help in heat control and impulse stimulation.”

Vincent takes a breath, doubtless to continue his speech, and Adam cuts in with—“Thank you, Vincent; that was all very fascinating and none of us would have known about it if it weren’t for you.”

Vincent beams.

Hanyu’s entourage finally reaches the sliding glass exit doors and he pulls out a pair of sunglasses from nowhere, sliding them on as he simultaneously leaps into a car. 

“Show-off,” mutters Adam. 

“Don’t mind him, he’s just pissed because Hanyu’s hotter than he’ll ever be,” says Alex mildly. 

Nathan puts on his earphones and flips the volume all the way up. Unfortunately, it’s not nearly enough to drown out the cacophony of the attempted murder happening behind him. 

~

After that first coincidental meeting at the airport, Nathan doesn’t see much of Hanyu for the rest of the competition. They finish with silver and gold respectively and the Japanese crowd gives Hanyu a standing ovation which he accepts with a smile and a regal wave. 

When Nathan passes Hanyu in the competitors’ area, no trace of the smile remains. He’s talking to Tracy Wilson, earphones clenched in one hand, grimace painted on his face. 

“—for combo, timing was not right. And GOE was—,” he breaks off with a sigh.

“Hey, hey, don’t be like that. We’ll work on it and…”

Their voices grow fainter as Nathan walks away. 

~

Predictably enough, Hanyu gets all of the questions at the post-free skate press con, save the one general question the moderator poses to all three of them at the beginning. Nathan doesn’t really care either way and Shoma looks thankful to have to speak the bare minimum. 

So that’s how Nathan ends up zoning out throughout the entire press con. That’s why he ends up taken by surprise when everyone’s attention lasers onto him. Hanyu’s just finished speaking and the translator’s working her way through his soliloquy. 

“...I feel thankful towards Nathan for raising the level of competition today. His quad lutz in particular is very impressive.”

Hanyu raises his gaze from where it’s zeroed onto the table to glance to the side and shoot a quicksilver smile at Nathan. 

Nathan’s face muscles have never felt more like melted plastic. He returns the smile and prays it doesn’t look like he’s having a spasm. 

And then it’s time for the group photographs. 

“Closer together!” yells the Canon photographer. The nonstop light flashes nearly blind Nathan and he steps closer to Hanyu, stopping short of them actually touching. Out of the corner of his eye, he can spot Shoma hesitating over whether to put his arm around Hanyu or not. In the end, he performs a spasmodic, abortive gesture, stopping short of actually touching Hanyu’s back. 

Inexplicably, Nathan feels the tell-tale tickle of laughter threatening to emerge from his mouth. It’s been such a long day—all his better judgement has evaporated. So he breathes out a chuckle. It’s almost unnoticeable, except for Hanyu, who tilts his head towards Nathan. 

Their eyes meet for a second Hanyu quirks his lips in a wry smile and shrugs in the universal _what can you do_ gesture. The moment disappears as quickly as it arrived and the three of them troop to the exit. 

Shoma stops suddenly. “ _Sumimasen, Yuzu-kun,”_ he says apologetically. 

Hanyu smiles beatifically. “ _Daijobudesu.”_

Nathan makes to leave the two of them to it, but then Hanyu’s hand grabs his. 

“Nathan, wait!”

Later, he’ll pinpoint that moment as the one which sent the dominoes cascading. For now, though, he stays suspended in time as Hanyu says, “See you at the Final. Good luck!”


	2. ii

_December 2016, Marseilles_

Now, onto the first time Nathan _actually_ meets Yuzuru Hanyu. 

It’s the 2016 Grand Prix Final and the crowd is wilder than ever. Nathan’s waiting near the entrance, doing last minute stretches and going over strategy with Rafael. 

Enter Hanyu, stage left. 

And the crowd goes _wild._

Nathan’s just sunk into a stretch which is the only thing that prevents him from falling flat onto his face. Hanyu smells _amazing_ —like the jasmine tea his mom forced him to drink on important occasions. 

Omegas don’t have to load up on scent blockers anymore when they’re in public, unlike the eighteenth century and besides, Hanyu’s the spokesman for some omega rights group. Nathan vaguely remembers seeing one of his anti scent-shaming ads online. The tag line had been—what was it again?

The only thing that comes to mind is the intense look on Hanyu’s face as he stared into the camera, only to melt into a gentle smile moments later. 

Hanyu brushes past Nathan, close enough for him to count out the rhinestones on his costume. He looks like something out of a painting—white chiffon and swirls of blue and green colouring him from the waist up. He wouldn’t look out of place rising from the ocean, in a whirl of sea-foam and tidal waves. 

“Nathan, inside, quick! Why’re you standing here gaping and wasting energy?” 

Rafael makes him snap out of his daze, and he heads back inside. Nathan goes through his pre-skate ritual—energy drink, wrist guards, unsuccessfully try to tame unruly hair and give up .5 seconds later. 

Finally, it’s time. 

The sweepers carry out the last of the Pooh bears that the wild crowd had tossed onto the ice. Nathan eyes the stands. The omega empowerment flag stands out in its stark blue and grey near the centre rows. 

Hanyu’s big for two reasons—one, because he’s a phenomenal skater. Two—because he’s the first omega to win more than a Challenger series _and_ to land quads which were always thought to be too hard on omegan physique. 

The point being—this crowd is all Hanyu’s. Nathan’s gonna have to work to make it his own. 

He glides to the centre of the ice and takes the opening pose. A deep breath, the opening bars of the Polovtsian Dances echo in his ears. And then he _skates._

~

Unlike NHK, Nathan ends up seeing a lot more of Hanyu at the GPF. Which is good because he ends up seeing his quad loop up close a lot (that jump is _insane_ , and that’s coming from someone who jumps quad lutzes regularly) and bad because Hanyu is most definitely in pre-heat and Nathan is a teenage alpha with a lot of hormones. 

Hanyu glides past him, practicing his step sequence for the gala and Nathan catches another whiff of that jasmine tea. Infuriatingly, Patrick and Javier, the only other alphas on the ice look unaffected. Javier even humours Hanyu by lifting him up in the air like a pair skater. 

But then again, they _do_ train together. And Patrick’s Canadian; nothing fazes him. 

“He’d never be able to pull something like that off in Japan,” says Patrick, appearing out of nowhere. 

As Nathan remains mute, he huffs in annoyance. “Yuzuru takes a lot of liberties just ’cause they train together. Javi deserves to be treated better.”

“Well—they’re friends aren’t they?”

“As much as an alpha and an omega can be ‘friends’, yeah,” says Patrick sardonically. 

Okay, Patrick’s a three-time world champion and Nathan’s a rookie in the senior circuit but that kind of pisses him off. He opens his mouth and—

“Hey, Nathan! C’mere man,” yells out Alex, camcorder in hand. “Come be in our new vlog!”

Nathan skates away. 

“Patrick looked intense,” says Maia quietly.

“Just some stuff about Hanyu and Javier,” says Nathan, gulping down a sip of water. 

“Don’t take it too seriously—Patrick’s never gotten over losing his Sochi gold to Yuzuru.”

“And when Yuzuru presented later on...that kinda was the last straw,” pipes in Alex. 

“You guys are regular gossips,” says Nathan, shaking his head in mock-censure. 

Maia laughs. 

“There’s a lot of unspoken things in this sport; just keep sharp, yeah?” says Alex, proffering his hand in a fist bump. 

“Don’t sweat it. I’ve got no interest in any sort of drama—whether it’s with Patrick or Hanyu or Medvedeva.”

“Atta boy.”

Nathan bends down to put on his skate guards. 

“Just call him Yuzuru, everyone does,” says Maia, pulling her hair back in a bun. 

“I dunno, it feels—weird.”

The twins laugh in unison. 

“Getting starstruck, are we?”

Nathan rolls his eyes in answer. 

~

Jin Boyang ends up livestreaming the whole banquet. Nathan doesn’t really get why fans would find skaters dressed in stuffy formal wear eating hors d'oeuvres interesting, but to each their own. 

Ultimately the clink of cocktail glasses and the mind-numbing boredom of greeting so-and-so ISU member and their nephew becomes too much for him and he slips out through the French window. 

The hotel gardens are blissfully quiet and more importantly, deserted. Nathan breathes in the scent of blooming roses, freshly mowed grass and— _jasmine tea_?

Hanyu’s sitting on a bench in a little alcove ahead of where Nathan’s currently standing. And next to him is—Akiko Suzuki? 

Nathan stands there for a while, feeling like an eavesdropper but unwilling to head back to the claustrophobic banquet inside. And besides, he doesn’t even understand Japanese, so it’s not like he’s spying on them. 

His justifications are interrupted by Hanyu’s voice, uncharacteristically sharp. Akiko remains quiet till he finishes. Then she stands up, smiles sadly and says something indistinct. Hanyu looks like he’s one step from losing it. Instead he watches her walk away. 

_What the hell was that about,_ wonders Nathan. He casts a glance at his watch (it’s Citizen, of course, one of the small medal ceremony gifts) and gives a double take when he sees it’s nearly 11 PM. 

It’s as he’s making his way back to the banquet hall when his shoes crackle on a dried twig. Hanyu gives a start and twists his head. And once again their gazes meet. 

“Nathan?” calls out Hanyu. No one pronounces his name like Hanyu does—the syllable meld together, making it sound exotic. 

“Um, hello?” he answers, making his way closer. 

Hanyu looks at him curiously. “What are you doing here?”

“Banquet felt a little stuffy, I wanted to get some fresh air.”

Hanyu hums in agreement, still studying him up and down. His suit _suits_ him in a way Nathan still isn’t used to his—he feels like a kid playing dress up or going to the prom. 

“Wanna head back together?” blurts out Nathan impulsively. 

Hanyu looks at him like he’s just said the sky is pink or that flips are jumped using the outside edge. 

There’s an awkward pause. 

“I would like to,” says Hanyu finally. He doesn’t make any move to come closer, though. 

Oh god, why is Nathan such an _idiot_ . Hanyu’s an unmated omega, Nathan’s a newly presented alpha—of _course_ he wouldn’t want to go back to the banquet together after leaving suddenly. 

"I'm sorry, I’ll just—go on ahead.”

Nathan’s scarcely taken five steps when once again, déjà-vu, he feels Hanyu grab his shoulder, calling out, “Nathan, wait!”

They're close enough that Nathan can smell Hanyu’s cologne as well as his jasmine scent, the two mixing together. The alpha inside him goes wild. 

“ _What_ ,” he says aggressively and immediately wishes he hadn’t. 

“You saw Akiko?”

“I wasn’t spying on you, I just—”

“I know, I know,” says Hanyu, waving his hand dismissively. “She’s retiring.”

Oh. 

“I didn’t think—I, I hope she’ll be happy.”

“She’s retiring because she’s gonna get _married_ ,” says Hanyu venomously.

Nathan had forgotten that Akiko was an omega too. They’re both silent for a while, as he considers what to say next. 

“So, uh, I take it you don’t think highly of marriage?”

Yuzuru's laugh is unexpected. It’s high-pitched and breathy and by far the most human thing about him up till now. 

“You’re so _funny_ ,” says Hanyu, giggles finally coming to a halt. 

“Hanyu, I’ll have you know I was voted Salt Lake City High’s Most Hilarious three years in a row,” says Nathan imperiously. 

“You can call me Yuzuru,” says Hanyu, almost shyly. He doesn’t look Nathan in the eye, instead fixing his gaze on the rhododendron plant in front of them. “—if you want,” he tags on hastily. 

Nathan’d never imagined that this was how he’d spend his first GPF banquet—in a deserted garden with Yuzuru Hanyu. 

His mouth feels dry as he says, “Sure.”

They sit in companionable silence on the bench for a while until Hanyu ( _Yuzuru_ , he corrects himself mentally) says, “We should go now.”

Nathan stirs himself from his reverie. “Yeah. Want me to go ahead?”

Yuzuru looks surprised for one moment. Then a small, genuine smile blooms on his face. “Yes. Thank you, Nathan.”

“No prob.” Nathan stretches as he stands up. Yuzuru remains seated on the stone bench, head tilted to one side as he watches Nathan. 

As Nathan walks away, he turns back for just a moment and calls out, “Goodbye, Yuzuru!” The name flows off his tongue naturally, almost like it was always meant to. 

He hears Yuzuru’s laughter behind him as a response. 

~

It feels strange to seek out Yuzuru again at the banquet, and besides, he’s with Team Japan. Akiko and Yuzuru seem to have made up by this time and they’re in a conversation with Koboyashi, the JSF representative. 

That’s the last Nathan sees of Yuzuru at least till worlds. That’s what he _thinks._ Of course, things change when he sees _Hanyu Yuzuru_ printed in neat Times New Roman on the entry list for Four Continents. 

“Well, of _course_ he’d wanna go for 4CC,” says Adam with aggravating superiority. “I mean, Ambesi keeps taking potshots at him in his commentary when he goes, ‘and here’s a skater who’s won everything there is to win, _except_ ’ enter dramatic pause, ‘Four Continents!’”

“Hilarious,” says Raf drily. 

Nathan straightens up unconsciously as his coach beckons him to come closer. “Nathan, it doesn’t matter whether the Hanyus and Fernanadezes of the world are at Four Continents because you’re—”

“But Raf, Javier’s European,” quips Nathan, unable to hold himself back. 

Raf gives him a long look. 

“Sorry, coach.”

“Get back to work on your step sequence.”


	3. iii.

_February 2017, Pyeongchang_

The first thing Nathan sees are the Olympic rings. They stand out stark and proud against the clear Korean sky, a reminder that in one year, in this time, this place, the Olympics will happen. 

It’s terrifying. It’s electrifying. It’s amazing. 

“Chen, quit daydreaming and get a fucking move on,” yells Adam, successfully ruining the moment. 

Raf stares disapprovingly at the both of them. “ _Americans,_ ” he mutters under his breath. 

~

Pyeongchang Ice Arena is bold, bright and practically yells _Olympics_ in a way that the Salt Lake City rink still echoes from 2002. The ice is still crisp and untouched when Nathan bursts into a quad lutz, leaving a cascade of ice flakes in his wake. 

He feels confident today, in a way he hasn’t since US Nats last month. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Shoma Uno land a flip, face still deadpan. Jin Boyang’s here too, and if on schedule, Nathan hears the distinctive sound of him crashing into the boards for the, what, fifth time today?

The rink seems to breathe a collective sigh of relief as Boyang decides to call it a day and laces up his skates. That changes when Team Cricket enters. 

It’s always obvious when Yuzuru enters a rink—he’s followed by his endless list of coaches and at _least_ two dedicated photographers. The fans go wild right on schedule, the journalists sit up straight and the other skaters go through their run-throughs with the extra energy brought on by the desperate thought of _not wanting to lose_. 

In the midst of it all, Yuzuru is an island unto himself. 

He adjusts his Pooh tissue holder, languidly sheds his Team Japan jacket and jumps straight into a triple axel. 

The arena fills with a cascade of applause. Yuzuru flexes his shoulders, cracks his neck. Over by the boards, Brian Orser gives a small nod. 

Nathan skates past Yuzuru. He doesn’t pay attention; eyes fixated on the other side of the rink. All of a sudden, he throws himself into a quad loop. Nathan can’t help it—he looks and counts the transitions in and out of the jump. _Choctaw, mohawk, ending with a crossroll and a high kick._

He snaps out of it as the announcer calls out his name for the run through. Raf gives him a small nod. _Are you ready?_

Nathan’s ready. 

~

After that, the day of the short program arrives. It’s cloudy and humid in Pyeongchang, but the indoor cooling system in the rink is impeccable—a little rain won’t be allowed to mess up the Olympic arena. 

Nathan skates well—not perfectly, but good enough to get the lead. _98.93._ Just shy of the magic 100 mark. 

Yuzuru takes to the ice and blue and gray fill the audience seats. Shoma comes to life in the seat beside Nathan to clap vigorously and say softly, “ _Ganbare, Yuzuru-san.”_

Boyang is, predictably enough, taking a selfie to post on Weibo. Nathan considers starting a conversation with either of them but swiftly abandons the idea. Shona’s taciturn on a good day and Nathan still feels embarrassed about that one time he tried to talk to Boyang in Mandarin and promptly mispronounced everything he tried to say. 

“Selfie?” asks Boyang, pointing at his iPhone with his free hand. 

“Uh, sure.”

The final picture ends up having Boyang enthusiastically grinning at the camera, Nathan staring confusedly into the distance and Shoma looking dead-eyed in the corner. 

Boyang seems happy with it, so that’s something. 

Just as they finish their impromptu photo shoot session, Yuzuru’s short program music begins. 

In unison, the three of them glue their eyes to the screen in the Kiss & Cry. 

Yuzuru ends up singling his planned quad loop. His total score is enough to bump Boyang and Shoma down a place, but Nathan is squarely in the lead—by seven points. 

~

The short program press conference is— _awkward._ Everyone keeps side-eying Nathan like they’re not sure of what actually happened. 

Yuzuru’s as zen as ever. He shakes Nathan’s hand, brief but businesslike and the moment disappears in the camera flashes. 

“Yuzuru, how exactly is your quad loop progressing? And how would you say it’s different from the toe loop and the salchow?”

Nathan zones out. You can’t really blame him—he’s bone tired. Which idiot planned that the press con would be held right after the results were out? He snaps out of his thoughts as he hears his name being called. 

“Nathan, you’re the current US champion. You won your title with a record six quad free skate; will we see you replicate that feat the day after tomorrow?”

“Well, about the number of quads—I’ll decide depending on the competition. I got a really good score at Nationals and I hope I’ll be able to replicate it in an international competition.”

“Yuzuru, what are your plans for the free skate tomorrow?”

The translator’s voice continues evenly after Yuzuru finishes speaking. “I’m confident I’ll be able to make a comeback tomorrow. This is my third time competing at Four Continents; it was one of the first senior international competitions I took part in and I hope to give a good showing here especially since the Olympics will be held in this venue next year.”

A flurry goes through the assembled journalists. 

“Yuzuru, will you be attending the Olympics at Pyeongchang next year with the intention of defending your title?”

Yuzuru finishes answering in only a few seconds. “Of course. I don’t know what the outcome will be, but I will definitely be there.”

~

**Aisha @yuzurious**

_Confirmed!!! Yuzu’s staying on for #_ **_Pyeongchang18_ **

_Replying to @yuzurious_

**king. @Phoenixs**

_omg yes. double olympic champ yuzu, get ready world_

  
  


**Betty Lang @blang_reports**

_After men’s SP @_ **_#4CC2020 #NathanChen_ ** _first,_ **_#YuzuruHanyu_ ** _second,_ **_#ShomaUno_ ** _third. Could this be the final result? Watch on through_ **_@cbcsports_ ** _._

  
  


**Blake White @bhite_wake**

_Is it just me or is_ **_#Hanyu_ ** _not as sharp as he used to be? My money’s on_ **_#Chen_ ** _for the win._

**Aisha @yuzurious**

**_@bhite_wake_ ** _what do you mean by “not as sharp”?_

**Blake White @bhite_wake**

**_@yuzurious_ ** _if you compare his performances this season to last year, it’s definitely deteriorated_

**_@bhite_wake_ ** _you could say that. But compared to everyone else, his 80% is like 100% :)_

**_@yuzurious_ ** _are you one of those rabid fans who think people can’t criticise Hanyu because he’s an omega?_

**_@bhite_wake_ ** _I didn’t bring Yuzuru’s dynamic into this but since you mentioned it, I do think he’s held to an unfairly high standard because he’s the only omega competing on the circuit._

**_@yuzurious_ ** _people criticise Hanyu because compared to Chan and Fernandez his skills are completely inferior, but go off I guess_

**_@bhite_wake_ ** _am I supposed to believe it’s a coincidence that C and F are alphas? You look down on Hanyu bcos he’s an omega and it shows_

**_@yuzurious_ ** _lol I can see you’re the typical over emotional omega. Stick to cleaning your alpha’s house and leave analysis to the others_

~

The next two practice days fly by. The day of the free skate dawns bright and clear, unlike the short program. 

Nathan’s high-strung throughout the six-minute warmup. Yuzuru’s skating right before him and he can already imagine the mountain of stuffed bears the flower kids will have to remove. 

He doesn’t watch Yuzuru’s free skate but he does hear the score. _303.71_

A new season’s best. 

~

Nathan’s getting ready to push off the boards when Raf grabs his shoulder. “You’re the US champion. Skate like it.”

He scores 307.46. 

_“Nathan Chen of the United States, ladies and gentleman, with a new season’s best!”_

~

He doesn’t remember the medal ceremony, except in snapshots. The bright tiger lilies the Korean Skating Union’s President hands them. The weight of the gold medal as it slips over his neck. 

Yuzuru’s cool, assessing eyes falling from his face to his medal and back in an instant. He has a strained smile on his lips all along. 

Shoma nearly falls off the podium. Nathan doesn’t hold back his laughter. Yuzuru modestly covers his lips with a blue-gloved hand. 

_~_

The first inkling Nathan has of this press conference not being an ordinary one is when the NBC guy asks, “Nathan, how do you feel about your performance? You landed six quads, something which would have been _impossible_ if not for your alpha biology.”

To his right, Yuzuru fiddles with the glass beads on his bracelet, looking supremely bored. He tilts his head to the side as his interpreter translates the question for him, expression unreadable. 

“Well—I can't deny that this has all been a huge surprise for me. It’s my first time being at 4CC; there were so many incredible skaters here whom I feel privileged to be allowed to skate against —especially Yuzuru and Shoma, here. And—,” a pause. 

“—I don’t think my being an alpha has any effect on my skating.”

The moderator passes the mic for the next question. Nathan switches off his speaker, feeling tension drain out of him. Yuzuru’s switched to twisting a strand of hair around his index. It looks impossibly silky from this close up and Nathan can understand why he was nominated for Asia’s 100 Most Beautiful. 

“Question for Yuzuru. You’ve continuously stated that you believe all secondary genders to have an even playing field when it comes to figure skating. Does this still stand true, in the quad era?”

The interpreter speaks in rapid-fire Japanese, with Yuzuru inclining his head towards her. He nods, tilts the mic towards himself and starts the counter attack. 

Nathan’s got no clue what he’s saying, but by the foreign reporters’ murmurs and furious scribbling, it’s gotta be something wild. 

Yuzuru doesn’t disappoint. 

The interpreter speaks in a slow measured voice once he’s finished.

“I have always believed that all genders—omega, beta, alpha—are mere constructs that do not define a person. Undoubtedly, when you count in biology, alphas have the advantage. Of course, this was the case thousands of years ago. In today’s age, it is my humble opinion that outdated beliefs in secondary gender have no basis. Coming to quads—they’re still a relatively new development in the sport, but more and more skaters are adapting, myself included. I don’t think belonging to a specific gender is a prerequisite for landing a quad—that’s a question of training and preparation, not biology.”

Finally, someone asks Shoma about his short program and the questions start sounding more ordinary—what was it like landing that jump, what are your plans for next season, yadda-yadda. 

And then Nathan heads back to the hotel with the rest of Team USA, medal still around his neck. He can hardly believe today even happened. Alex and Maia won bronze in ice dance and all of them are giddy with excitement. 

“Party tonight in my room!” calls out Adam, clutching a bottle of alcohol. 

“I’m underage,” Nathan says drily. 

“Spoilsport.” With that, Adam disappears around the corner, the Shibutanis close on his heels. 

Nathan feels his lips curve in an involuntary smile. Today was _incredible._ The smile stays on his face until he sees Rafael who is most definitely _not_ happy. 

“In my room, quick.”

~

Nathan sits on a wicker chair as Rafael paces up and down the patterned carpet. His usual beta scent of pine needles now feels uncomfortably sharp and bitter. 

“Those goddamn vultures. They’ve always, _always_ gotta drag dynamic politics into things.”

“What happened?”

“Phil Hersh happened.”

Nathan takes a look at the iPad Rafael proffers and immediacy wishes he hadn’t. In bold Times New Roman, the headline proclaims— _Alpha Nathan Chen dominates rival Hanyu at Four Continents._ He ignores the article, heading straight to Twitter instead where his notifications have reached the double digits. 

Twitter, predictably enough, is going wild. Nathan’s been tagged in approximately five dozen tweets, and that’s in just the first hour the article’s been up. 

_Hey_ **_@NBCOlympics,_ ** _what’s the need for adding_ **_@nathanwchen_ ** _’s dynamic when saying that he beat_ **_#YuzuruHanyu_ ** _at_ **_#4CC17_ ** _?_

_EXTREMELY disappointed by_ **_@NBCOlympics_ ** _’ coverage of_ **_#4CC17_ ** _. Instead of focusing on_ **_@nathanwchen_ ** _and_ **_#Hanyu_ ** _’s dynamics, maybe actually talk about the competition?_

_It’s disgusting how much dynamic bias exists in today’s day and age. Case in point,_ **_@NBCOlympics_ ** _’_ _article_ _which reduces_ **_#Sochi2014_ ** _OGM_ **_#YuzuruHanyu_ ** _to “the Japanese omega who got lucky at the Olympics.” It’s belittling both his achievements and that of_ **_@nathanwchen_ ** _._

Nathan hands back Raf’s phone, feeling a little faint. This is the first time he’s been involved in a—controversy? It’s nothing like the Nancy-Tonya situation, or even Adam’s crash with Nan Song last year, but it’s up there. 

Raf eyes him warily, like he’s expecting him to have a nervous breakdown or something. “Okay?” he asks in that gruffly concerned way that immediately acts as a balm for Nathan’s nerves. 

Nathan stops and thinks for a moment. 

“To be honest, no.”

Raf nods. 

“Do you want to skip the banquet?”

“If I do that, it’ll just be giving them more material to work with. I just—I hate that I’m being used as a tool for them to push forward this narrative.”

Raf frowns and shakes his head. “Your country’s media—it is bad, very bad.”

Nathan lets out a shaky laugh. “Understatement of the year, Raf.”

Raf doesn’t seem to get the context but nods just the same. He sits down on the bed so that he’s facing Nathan. 

"Don’t let this affect you for Worlds—every big skater goes through something like this, sooner or later. For Asada, it was the collision with Kim in 2012. Fernandez had the split with Morozov, although that was with his coach, not another skater, of course.”

Nathan nods as Raf reminisces about ancient skating gossip. 

“—and Hanyu has done this many times before, he will be fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“Here, in the States, your media, it is very—how do you say— _liberal_ , most of the time. Go to Russia, to Japan, and it is very different. Hanyu has weathered this storm before and he is used to it. So don’t you go worrying needlessly,” he adds sternly. 

~

“What do you want _now_ ,” groans Adam. He’s busy slicking back his hair with some new-fangled gel, glaring intently at the mirror. 

“There was this— _thing—_ by NBC—”

“Oh, you mean the article Twitter’s going crazy about?”

“Does _everyone_ know about it?” groans Nathan, faceplanting on to Adam’s hotel bed. It’s uncomfortably soft and smells like a hotel—detergent and air freshener. 

“One, pretty much. Two, if you don’t get your shoes off my bed, I’ll throw something at you.”

Nathan hastily kicks off his sneakers and sits cross legged on the mattress. 

“So...how bad is it?”

Adam tosses his phone at him. “See for yourself.”

**Alpha Nathan Chen dominates rival Hanyu at Four Continents**

**_By Phil Hersh_ **

_Nathan Chen (A) broke ahead of the pack with a dazzling short program and free skate at the 2017 Four Continents Championship held in Seoul, South Korea. The US National Champion showed characteristic modesty in the post-free skate press conference saying, “(he) managed to skate (his) best only because of the presence of other brilliant skaters like Yuzuru Hanyu.”_

_Hanyu (O) managed to cling onto the silver, with countryman Shoma Uno (B) at his heels. In contrast with Chen’s forthrightness, the omega later stated in an interview that, “(he) expected to do better and (was) somewhat disappointed with the result.”_

_Although Hanyu defeated the-then world champion and red hot favourite Patrick Chan (A) at the Sochi Olympics, he has never been a consistent champion, and has consequently never been able to shake off the label of being the Japanese omega who got lucky at the Olympics. In recent times, it seems inevitable that he will be overtaken by younger, more able skaters such as Chen, who have precedent as well as biology on their side._

_Indeed, of the thirty-six quadruple jumps that were attempted at the Four Continents Championship, the twenty-three that were landed cleanly were accomplished by five alpha athletes, three betas and only one omega._

_Statistics don’t lie; like most other sports, figure skating is simply not designed for omegas. Perhaps it would be best for Hanyu and others of his dynamic to carry out the roles biology assigned them at birth instead of dying a slow death as an athlete._

Nathan slowly lifts his head up. 

“Fucking _hell._ ”

Adam nods sagely. “Damn right.”

“I can’t go to the banquet—I wouldn’t be able to look Yuzuru in the eye.”

Adam snorts. “Sorry to burst your bubble, princess, but the banquet’s compulsory for all skaters. And _you’re_ the champion of tonight; it’s doubly compulsory for you, so stop moaning and get dressed. Anyway, Yuzuru’s like a Nokia phone, it’ll take much more than a bitchy article to get through him.”

“Wait, it’s _compulsory_? And what’s with the lame metaphor?”

Adam rolls his eyes. “Nokias are basically indestructible, dumbass. And Yuzuru survived crashing into Han Yan and falling five times in his routine and even ended up getting silver—he doesn’t need anyone to worry about him. Besides, he takes way more shit from the Japanese media than Phil Hersh can ever aspire to.”

Nathan frowns. “Raf said something like that too, what—”

He’s interrupted by Adam’s annoying Lady Gaga ringtone. 

“Whoops, would you look at the time. As much as I adore acting as your life mentor, it’s time to go for the banquet. Bye-bye.”

And with that Adam sashays off, Poker Face echoing in his wake. 

~

Despite Nathan’s fears, the banquet is actually pretty okay. Everyone seems to have collectively agreed that the article doesn’t exist, or maybe it’s a rule that banquets are only for taking aesthetic photos and nibbling on petit-fours. 

Yuzuru sticks with Shoma and the Japanese ice dance pair for all of the night and Nathan stays with Adam and Ashley. It almost feels like a waltz, the two of them circling but never quite intersecting. 

Tonight was pretty underwhelming, thinks Nathan as he steps into the elevator. He’s alone this time, Ash and Adam having elected to stay a while longer and feast on alcohol. As the humming of the hidden fan reaches his ears, Nathan considers his options. 

One—he could spend the rest of his night holed up in his tiny hotel room. Or—hadn’t Ashley said there was a rooftop garden on the terrace? The choice is easy. Nathan jabs the R key and the elevator sails up. 

~

This garden is the opposite of the one in Marseille—it’s filled with cacti, ferns and creepers. Fleshy aloe vera plants are found at every corner. It’s untraditional, but beautiful in its own way. 

Nathan’s leaning against a palm tree when he catches the sound of glass clinking on stone. It’s distinct, out of place in the tranquil night and it’s coming from his right. He walks along the stone path, shadowed by thorn trees and acacia. 

There’s a balcony of sorts at the edge of the roof. It shows off the glittering Seoul skyline, bedazzled with neon lights and billboards. An airplane’s tail lights glide through the sky, its movements spreading vibrations into the firmament. And outlined against this backdrop is— _of course—_ Yuzuru. 

He’s studying the skyscrapers with the intensity he reserves for practice run throughs and performances. His tie hangs loose around his neck and his suit lies clenched in his hand. A single whiskey tumbler lies on the stone railing in front of him. 

In the time it takes Nathan to take this all in, Yuzuru tilts his gaze and spots him. He gives a start. The tumbler slips and Nathan sees everything in slow motion—Yuzuru’s widening eyes, the spilling amber liquid, the crystal glass hurtling towards the ground. 

Nathan dives. The gravel underneath him feels like a million prickling needles and his knees will be _screaming_ later on, but he has eyes only for the tumbler. His hand stretches, twists, grabs and feels cold, wet and blessedly unbroken glass. 

He cheers internally. Falling so many times practicing quads was bound to come in handy _someday._ It’s only then he takes stock of the situation—himself, prone on the ground, clutching a whiskey glass furiously in one hand. Yuzuru standing agape scarcely a foot away. 

“What are you—Nathan! When did you—,” Yuzuru eventually devolves into speechlessness, still staring at Nathan with his mouth ajar. 

Nathan grins awkwardly—or at least _tries_ to, as much as one can grin with a mouthful of gravel. “Um, a little help? Please?”

That seems to snap Yuzuru out of his stupor. He hurries forward, gravel crunching underneath his shiny formal blacks. Nathan hands him the tumbler which he carefully puts down on a bench. Nathan’s still belly-down on the ground, and he’s at approximately ankle level with Yuzuru. 

“Want me to...lift you?” says Yuzuru hesitantly. 

“ _Yes._ ”

Nathan lifts up his arms. Yuzuru grabs him by the elbows and heaves. In one single fluid motion, Nathan’s now pressed up against Yuzuru’s chest, his hands still on his elbows. They’re both breathing heavily—they may be elite athletes but it’s been a long day. Yuzuru’s still wearing the same cologne, a part of Nathan’s mind notes detachedly. His jasmine tea scent is almost unnoticeable today. The moment stretches for one instant too long and then they separate. 

Nathan brushes bits of gravel off his pants and tries to act like everything that’s happened up till now is perfectly normal and not out of a fever dream. Yuzuru seems to agree, since he moves back to his balcony spot and studiously examines the skyline. 

There’s silence for about a minute and Nathan thinks about making an unobtrusive exit and pretending this meeting never happened when the night’s tranquility is broken once more—this time by Yuzuru's wild, unrestrained laughter. 

“You—you actually _caught_ it!” he gasps out in between giggles. 

Nathan can’t control himself anymore. The events of this night have just been too bizarre and unpredictable for that. So he bends his knees and sits down on the gravel, laughing in beat with Yuzuru. 

“I didn’t know what else to do! It was just instinct.”

“You were very _kakoii,_ ” says Yuzuru seriously. 

“What does that mean?” 

Yuzuru smirks. “It means you looked like Superman diving down to grab a bomb.”

“Oh _stop_. God, I must’ve looked like a fool.”

“No, no!” Yuzuru moves close and plants himself onto the gravel too, close enough that their knees touch. He leans in closer and taps Nathan’s shoulder conspiratorially. 

“You were very—what’s the word— _debonair_.”

Nathan laughs in spite of himself. “I don’t think that's how the word’s used, Yuzu.”

It takes a moment for his ears to comprehend what he said. “Oh, sorry, I—”

“No, you can call me Yuzu,” says Yuzuru, lying back on the ground. The gravel must be uncomfortable but he looks right at home. He props his head up with an elbow, staring right at Nathan. The moon above washes him in pale light, making him seem ethereal. Otherworldly. 

“You—don’t mind?”

Yuzuru smiles angelically. “I don’t mind because it’s Nathan.”

“Even with—the article?” Nathan immediately regrets mentioning it. He wouldn’t blame Yuzuru if he walked away right now. 

Yuzuru looks puzzled for a second (did he not see it yet, oh god, Nathan’s ruined everything—)

“Oh, the one by chocolate man,” he says with a dismissive flick of his wrist. 

Nathan feels his brain grind to a halt. “Chocolate...man?” he says dubiously. 

“Yes, yes, like the American chocolate. You know, the big one shaped like little mountains.”

“Uh, toblerone?”

“No, that’s Swiss. I mean the very sweet one; it comes in red and white too.”

Oh god. Nathan can’t help it anymore. He rolls around on the ground, laughter muffled by the gravel. Yuzuru watches him with polite confusion. 

“You mean,” gasps out Nathan, “ _Hershey’s_?”

Yuzuru nods furiously. 

Phil Hersh. Hershey’s kisses. 

“Only you could make that connection.”

Yuzuru frowns. “I’m wrong?”

“No, not at all. You’re totally right.”

Yuzuru hums in agreement. They lie like that for a while, staring up at the sky. Nathan finally feels comfortable enough to say— 

“About that article—you know I would _never—_ ”

Yuzuru’s soft laughter interrupts the passionate monologue Nathan was planning. “I know Nathan Chen is not that sort of person.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

“Um, thank you? But can I ask—why are you so sure? I _could_ be a total asshole—I mean, I’m not saying I am but hypothetically I _could_ be and, ugh, I’ve gotten all mixed up now.” He sighs. 

“Marin told me you are a good person.”

 _Marin_? She came for a training camp in California a few months ago and Nathan’d shown her the convenience store and the best pizza place in town; hardly anything groundbreaking. And then there was that time some dumbass alpha had gotten too aggressive in getting her number (poor guy hadn’t know that as much as Marin fit the poor delicate omega look, she also had a green belt in karate) and Nathan had let Marin put him in a neck hold for a good fifteen minutes before calling security. 

“But—you really don’t mind?” asks Nathan cautiously. 

Yuzuru shrugs. “It doesn’t matter to me what people say. As long as I win, I’m happy.”

Oh. With that, Nathan’s reminded of the fact that today’s gold medal is currently in _his_ hotel room. He feels—unsure of what to say next. 

Yuzuru’s gaze rests on him, the same way he was studying the skyline minutes earlier, like he’s a puzzle Yuzuru’s gonna unravel no matter what. He looks like that when he’s circling the ice, planning out his next jump. 

“I like to compete with you,” he says abruptly. 

What the hell does Nathan say to that? _Thank_ _you_ sounds way too smug, _me too_ just seems like a platitude and —

“—that’s why, next one, I’ll win,” finished Yuzuru, with an air of solemnity. 

Nathan stares at Yuzuru for a solid minute, getting whiplash from the conversation. 

“I didn’t say it wrong, right?” asks Yuzuru anxiously. “Brian keeps laughing when I make stupid mistakes with English.”

“No, you were perfectly intelligible.”

“ _Arigatou._ ”

As Nathan wonders what to say next, his gaze fall onto the abandoned whiskey glass on the bench. 

“Aren’t you...allergic to alcohol?” It was in one of those stupid ‘5 Things You Didn’t Know About Skater X’ the ISU was always putting out these days. 

Yuzuru shifts guiltily. 

“No—but I don’t like to drink in public. To say allergy is just easier.”

Nathan could understand where Yuzuru was coming from—there were always news stories coming out about incapacitated omegas getting taken advantage of. Hearing him put it so plainly made him feel strange—sad but angry. 

“I don’t like to drink anyway,” adds Yuzuru. “I just wanted to, tonight.”

“Sorry for interrupting you.”

Yuzuru shakes his head. “It’s okay.”

Nathan’s phone vibrates in his pocket. It’s a notification from his mom. 

**02/13/17 12:18AM**

**_< <Chen Wei, I saw the article. Are you alright? _ **

**_< <Do you want to call?_ **

**_> >i’m fine. i talked to Raf about it. thanks mom_ **

**_> >Go to sleep! We will talk tomorrow. _ **

**_> >Don’t forget to pack your bags for the flight_ **

**_< <yes mom🙄_ **

“Going?” questions Yuzuru. 

“I should probably go to sleep. Raf would kill me if I ended up missing the flight,” says Nathan, getting to his knees. 

Yuzuru remains where he is. “Goodnight, Nathan.”

“Yeah. You too, Yuzu.”

Nathan turns back one last time before getting into the elevator. Yuzuru’s stood up by now. He’s checking something on his phone, the blue light making him seem like a spectre, a trick of the mind. An optical illusion. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why does twitter alpha dude have such a lame username? because the author's too lazy to invent one for him. i've never done a twitter convo in a fic before, do you guys think the formatting's ok? anyway if some things seem a tiiiny bit familiar, the obligatory rpf disclaimer applies. my fave part of writing this is the fake articles, they're just oddly satisfying. gonna try to update soon! comments give me joy, spam my inbox with them


	4. iv.

_ March 2017, Helsinki _

“Stay calm, stay focused. Go.”

Nathan nods to Raf as he moves off the boards.  _ Inhale, exhale.  _ The announcer calls out his name, the crowd roars in greeting and Nathan steels himself. 

When he comes back to earth, he thinks,  _ it could’ve been worse.  _

His salchow was called under but he’d finally nailed the triple axel. Raf says as much when they wait in the Kiss and Cry for the scores. 

_ 98.43— _ not bad, but nowhere close to his season’s best. At least it was enough to grab third place in the short. But that third place depends on the next two skaters. 

Nathan heads off to the green room just as Javier finishes warming up. The crowd goes wild for the two-time world champion, ready to fight for his hat-trick. Javier flexes his shoulders, winks at the crowd and launches into his trademark quad sal. 

Nathan breaks into polite applause in unison with Shoma and Boyang. The rest of Javier’s program follows suit—a clean combo, crisp movements and a rousing finish. 

As Javier finishes bowing to the crowd, they go wild again—Yuzuru’s just entered. The sea of Japanese flags rise. Most of them have one significant difference from the ones that had been waved during Shoma’s skate—the blue-gray-white tricolour at the top right corner. Seeing them, Nathan’s reminded of the first time he saw Yuzuru skate—not his Sochi performances on TV, but the first time he saw him in person. The 2013 world championships at Saitama. He’d come to represent the US for junior worlds where he’d bombed for the second year in a row—alpha hormones were wreaking havoc in his body. 

Then came Yuzuru’s free skate. His presenting as an omega a few weeks ago had been all the gossip in the figure skating world. Alexei Mishin had given an interview in Russian saying that it was obvious that Hanyu would quit now—he’d won an Olympic medal at the right age and the right time, when omega pheromones couldn’t hinder him. Now, though—he’d probably finish off the podium. 

The short program at worlds seemed to be a sign of changing times; Yuzuru had fallen on his opening quad toe and Tatsuki Machida had finished with a season’s best. 

Nathan remembers the moment when Yuzuru took his opening position with startling clarity—it was just after Machida’s free skate to  _ Firebird  _ and the Japanese crowd was still chanting his name.  _ Ma-chi-da, Ma-chi-da.  _

Nathan was close enough to see Yuzuru's face tighten as the opening notes of  _ Romeo and Juliet  _ echoed in the Saitama Super Arena. And then he’d gone onto land all of his planned jumps and set a new world record. 

There was utter silence in the arena when the scores were called out. Then the Sendai fans went wild. Saitama was Machida’s hometown but today’s victory was Yuzuru’s. 

Nathan snaps out of his reminiscing when Javier’s short program scores come up. He displaces Boyang for second place and knocks Nathan out of the top three. Nathan takes a deep breath. It’s cool, it’s cool. The free skate’s still left. 

He shakes hands with Shoma and Boyang and nods to Javier on his way out. Just as he reaches the entrance to the arena, the opening beats of  _ Let’s Go Crazy  _ echo through the arena. 

_ Dearly beloved...we have gathered here today… _

Nathan spots Yuzuru glide across the ice—he looks utterly assured and confident. 

_...to get through this thing called life… _

Just then Yuzuru passes close to Nathan’s section of the arena. His eyes are determined. With his slicked-back hair, he looks harder, older. Nathan’s not sure but his eyes seem to pass over him as he glides by. 

_...electric word, life, it means forever and thats's a mighty long time―but I’m here to tell you there’s something else— _

Yuzuru sets up for a quad loop and the arena takes a collective breath. 

_ —the afterworld! _

Fans burst into cheers so loud the music’s drowned out for a good few seconds. Watching Yuzuru land a perfect quad loop only serves to remind Nathan of his many, many failed attempts. The loop’s a scary jump; your weight’s completely in the wrong direction and you can’t even make out your landing spot when you’re in the air. 

Yuzuru’s grinning now, as he exits into a high kick and moves his shoulders up and down in time to the music. The arena is electric. And then he launches into the quad sal combo. 

Nathan winces as Yuzuru’s leg unbalances under his weight. He manages to tag the triple toeloop onto the end—but the damage’s already done. The TES box displays negative GOE. 

The rest of the short program goes by without incident. Yuzuru’s grimacing when he heads to the Kiss and Cry; Brian Orser’s trying to cheer him up. 

Nathan feels a sense of anticipation waiting for the scores to come up—this is gonna determine whether he’ll end up sliding down the rankings. 

_ 98.39 _

Yuzuru is— _ fifth _ ? A one-point deduction too; but he didn’t have a fall. GOE is supposed to cover iffy landings, not outright deductions. So why—

Daniil G pops out like a jack-in-the-box and leans onto the boards next to Nathan. 

“Weird scores, right?” he says conversationally. Something about him rubs Nathan the wrong way—it’s his scent, like something bitter and acidic. 

“What’s the deduction for?”

Daniil G (there are so many Russian choreographers named Daniil, it’s just easier to identify them by their surnames) leans forward. “Word backstage is,” he stops to look around, like he’s afraid of someone eavesdropping.

“—it’s for a  _ time deduction. _ ”

Nathan blinks. “What?”

“He took longer than thirty seconds to get to his starting position. Thirty-two seconds, to be precise.”

“This is the first time I’ve heard of point deductions for time violations.”

Daniil hums in agreement. 

“Unsurprising that Hanyu’s the trailblazer for this.”

Nathan’s eyes fall onto one of the lone Japanese flags still fluttering in the stands. 

“Why d’you say that?” 

Daniil waves vaguely at something in the far-off distance. “Well, you know, he’s Hanyu.”

After  _ that  _ weird conversation, Nathan heads back to the hotel in the ISU’s shuttle bus. Everyone’s keeping to themselves—the results for this world championship will carry through to the Olympic season. Skating is a pretty genteel sport as it goes; but even so, tensions ratchet up when the competition gets fierce. 

The next two practice sessions pass in a flash—all too soon it’s the day of the free skate. Nathan feels testy, nervous—which doesn’t make sense; he’s coming into these world championships as the Four Continents champion and the Grand Prix silver medallist. He can do this. 

Yuzuru leads their six-man group into the five-minute warmup. Everyone’s tensed up—the next half hour is gonna be crucial. 

Nathan sets up for a quad lutz but ends up popping it into a double. He’s not the only one making stupid mistakes—Shoma ends up flutzing on his quad flip and Patrick falls on his triple axel. All too soon, the warm up’s over and five of them put their skate guards on. Yuzuru remains behind. 

Today he doesn’t do his little pre-skate rituals—praying and checking his axis. From the second the others leave, he races across the ice to get to his starting position. 

“No time deduction today,” mutters Patrick. 

Nathan heads off to the competitor’s area with the rest. And then they stay there for the four-and-a-half minutes it takes for the last notes of  _ Hope and Legacy _ to finish ringing through the arena. They're nearly inaudible, the crowd’s cheering so loud. The cameras cut to the green room and Nathan snaps back to reality when Mikhail Kolyada’s astounded face appears on the stadium screen. 

“A new world record,” says Javier, breaking the silence in the room. He sounds proud, but also slightly crestfallen. Catching up is going to be an uphill road. That goes for all of them. 

Nathan watches Shoma, then Patrick, then Boyang head out. None of them come close to Yuzuru’s 322.57. 

If he’s going to have a chance at beating that score, he’ll have to land each of his five planned quads. Raf nods and gives him a quick pat on the shoulder. Nathan takes in a deep breath.  _ Polovtsian Dances  _ plays. 

It doesn’t go well. Quad lutz has abandoned him today and his sal’s hardly better. He manages to hang onto the toeloop but only barely—he already knows the GOE will be negative by the time his toepick hits the ice. Raf has a pained smile on his face at the boards. 

At the Kiss and Cry, it’s all he can do to keep a straight face.  _ Alphas don’t cry _ . And then the score comes up.  _ 288.32.  _ His season’s best is 307-something. This score is— _ not bad— _ but definitely not enough to medal. 

After that, everything goes by in a blur. Nathan returns to the hotel where he ransacks the minibar in an attempt to make himself feel better. 

He ends up skipping the group performance at the gala, citing a headache. In the end, he watches it on the Samsung TV in his hotel room. Everyone’s happy, in a way Nathan just can’t force himself to feel. 

He’s miserable throughout the banquet too. Too wrapped up in his own thoughts to pay attention to what’s going on around him. At one point, he notices Team Japan heading off to a private room together. The smile Yuzuru’s had on his face ever since the free skate is still firmly in place. 

Nathan sips on soda and nibbles hors d'oeuvres until the clock strikes eleven. Most of the others have left by now, getting some sleep for their flights tomorrow. Adam and Ashley hold court in a corner with multiple bottles of red wine. 

He reaches the lobby only to get ambushed by the concierge. 

“Sir, we apologise for the inconvenience, but all the lifts are in maintenance right now.”

Nathan blinks. “You can’t be serious.” So _that’s_ why Team Russia had left so early with giggles on their faces. Slimy bastards. 

The concierge looked apologetic. “We’re really,  _ truly _ sorry. Sir, I’m afraid you’ll have to use the stairs. 

Nathan blinks again. 

“It’s  _ fifteen  _ floors.”

The concierge gives a discreet cough. “Sir, I’m sure it’s no problem for an athlete of your caliber.”

Nathan rolls his eyes. “Fine, whatever.” With that parting remark, he stomps his way to the stairs. The stairway entry is hardly noticeable; it’s a single door, blending onto the wallpaper. 

Inside, it’s a startling change from the richly carpeted lobby. The stairs are plain concrete with metal railings. Strip lights and naked bulbs provide the only illumination. 

_ So much for a five star hotel.  _

With a sigh, Nathan sets off on his odyssey. 

Five floors later, he begins to question all the decisions that led him here. See, Nathan’s an elite athlete but climbing up steep dimly-lit stairs at 12AM after eating way too many hors d'oeuvres is a trial even for him. He decides to sit down for a rest on the little alcove between the sixth and seventh floor when he hears the distinct sound of someone sliding a door open. It’s the stairway entry opening onto the sixth floor lobby. Warm yellow light spills onto harsh concrete and dulls the sharpness of the white bulbs. Outlined against the doorway is a figure clad in a dark suit. It’s—

“Nathan?” calls out Yuzuru, blinking from the sudden change in lighting. 

“Uh, hey.” Nathan gives an awkward wave. 

Yuzuru takes the stairs up two at a time, swaying slightly. He looks pale, washed-out under the white lights. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Probably the same as you,” he replied, gesturing upstairs. Yuzuru doesn’t seem to get it. 

“The elevator’s out of order so we have to use the stairs,” he elaborates. 

Yuzuru hums in agreement before suddenly planting himself down next to Nathan. Their knees brush and Yuzuru’s close enough for the single hanging light bulb to be reflected in his eyes. 

“’M tired,” he says, yawning. 

Nathan very consciously decides to ignore how close Yuzuru is, how the warmth of his body is even more palpable due to the cold concrete around them. 

“So, uh, how did the party with Team Japan go?”

Yuzuru leans his head against the metal railing. “Awful. I drank too much  _ sakè _ .”

Wait. Sakè as in rice wine as in  _ alcohol _ ?

Nathan surreptitiously sideyes Yuzuru. He’s staring blankly into space, one hand tightly clenched to the railing, the other tapping a furious staccato on his thigh. 

“I...thought you didn’t like drinking in public.”

Yuzuru shakes his hand dismissively. “Only Keiji and Shoma and Kana and Ma—Mar—”

“Marin?”

“They don’t matter.”

The silence lasts for a beat. “Do you wanna head up?”

Yuzuru blinks. He rises to his feet clinging to the railing for support. His trademark gracefulness is still present—the lines of his suit are miraculously uncreased and cling to him as flatteringly as ever. Nathan glances down at his cuffs. A mocking orange stain glares back at him from when Adam had spilled pesto sauce onto the table. 

Yuzuru reaches the eighth floor before him. As Nathan rounds the corner, he spots him leaning on the railing, humming a familiar tune. 

_ Na-na, na-na-na-na-naaa.  _ It’s the opening beats of  _ Hope & Legacy.  _

Yuzuru looks at Nathan unblinkingly as he comes into view. “You didn’t need to wait for me.”

“Nathan, can I ask…” Yuzuru’s voice trails away as he bites his lip, hesitating. This close, the stairwell is filled with their scents intermingling—flowery jasmine tea and bitter coffee. 

“Are you—okay?”

_ What brought that on? _

“Yes? I’m not injured or anything.”

“No, no. With the result.”

Nathan’s first urge is to lash out. Yuzuru’s just given the skate of his lifetime while Nathan’s finished off the podium for the first time this season. Of course he’s not  _ okay.  _

His common sense holds him back in time. This is Yuzuru, not some sleazy reporter trying to work an angle. And besides, Yuzuru’s  _ drunk _ , it’s not like he’s gonna remember much of this in the morning. 

“Well—of course I feel disappointed. But you know, there’s always next season. And I’m gonna get better.”  _ Just wait.  _

Yuzuru leans further onto the railing. “Next year, hm. You'll be—nineteen?” He 

tilts his head inquisitively. 

“Yeah, that’s right,” answers Nathan, wondering where the conversation’s heading. 

“Physical peak for alpha,” muses Yuzuru. 

Nathan stays quiet. 

“You know, after Shanghai, they said I should retire.”

“You mean the world championship?” asks Nathan hesitantly. 

Yuzuru continues as if he hasn’t heard. “In  _ Asahi Shimbun,  _ Nao—Naoto—Naoto Fukadaira, he wrote that for omegas, the best marriage time is after eighteen. So I should quit and go marry an alpha.”

Yuzuru’s eyes are fixed onto the bare concrete wall in front of them. He’s looking at something unseen; the ghosts and humiliations of the past. 

He stays like that for one long moment, before abruptly turning to Nathan. “You can be better. I  _ know _ .”

Before Nathan can formulate a response in his head, the stairwell fills with the echoes of a Japanese rock song. Yuzuru winces at the strident ring tone, hunting around in his suit pocket to dig out his iPhone. 

He mutters something in Japanese when he sees the caller ID. “What, Javi.”

The stairwell is so quiet Nathan can hear the tinny echo of Javier’s voice on the other side. “ _ Just wanted to call to know you’re back in your room. Brian would kill us both if we are late!” _

Yuzuru scowls. “Silly Javi, if anyone will be late it is  _ you.  _ Late to practice, late to airport.”

“ _ One time, Yuzu, one time! And you didn’t answer my question.” _

“I’m going, I’m going. Goodbye Javi.”

Nathan tries to pretend he didn’t hear any of that. Then déjà-vu strikes again. Yuzuru’s hands fumble against the slick glass of the iPhone and it falls in slow motion. Nathan dives for the save. 

“You keep saving me,” says Yuzuru, voice just barely slurred. 

Nathan brings himself up on his knees. Yuzuru’s a few steps ahead of him on the staircase, leaning on the banisters eyeing him thoughtfully. Nathan straightens up, extends out the phone. In a quick, fluid motion, Yuzuru’s hand darts out. 

“We should—get going.”

They climb up to the fifteenth floor in silence. As they enter the corridor, Yuzuru turns to the right. “My room’s here.”

“I can walk you…” Nathan’s voice trails off as he realised what he’s doing. This is  _ Yuzuru _ , he probably thinks he’s a wet-behind-the-ears alpha. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to have noticed Nathan’s gaffe. 

“What’s your room, Nathan?”

“1506.”

Yuzuru whips his head around. “Next to me!”

“Wait, really?” How the hell had Nathan not noticed?

“Yeah. 1508.”

They walk through the corridor silently, then pause in unison. “I guess I’ll see you in the summer shows?”

Yuzuru yawns, covering his mouth with his hand. “Team Trophy?”

_ Team—oh.  _

“ _ You’re  _ attending this year?”

Yuzuru gives a small smirk. 

"USA can’t win it three times in a row without a fight.”

Nathan feels the corners of his own mouth lift up. WTT with Yuzu will be—something. Something amazing, probably. 

“See you at Nagoya.”

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek why daniil's here, i just thought it'd be funny.   
> yuzu and nathan keep dramatically falling for each other every time they meet. just imagine careless whisper playing in the bg when nate catches yuzu.   
> javi is a Good Bro who jut wants to make sure yuzu comes back safe after Wild Party Night


	5. v.

_April 2017, Nagoya_

Surprisingly enough, Nathan ends up skating his best short program of the season. Team USA’s decked up in the stars and the stripes, blowing kazoos to celebrate his victory. 

Yuzuru skates last this time, and there’s a visible switch that flips on in the arena when he glides onto the ice. 

Two and a half minutes later, Adam sums up the entire crowd’s feelings with a well-timed, “What the fuck.”

Nathan doesn’t think he’d ever seen Yuzuru get less than 90 for the short for the past three years. The 83.55 on the stadium screen blinks back mockingly. 

“Can’t blame Hanyu for getting sloppy, hardly anyone takes WTT seriously,” shrugs Ashley. 

“Yuzuru’s not that kind of person,” Nathan says, feeling obliged to defend him when the guy in question isn't here. 

Adam half-heartedly throws red-blue-white confetti at him. “Boo, let us talk smack in peace.”

“Did your boyfriend break up with you? Is that why you’re on the snark train today?” 

“FYI, _I_ broke up with Walt, not the other way around.”

“Aww, don’t get into a hissy fit Adam,” coos Ashley. “Besides, he looked like he dealt meth or something, like Walter White.”

“Betas and alphas aren’t compatible anyway,” pipes up Vincent. 

Without skipping a beat, Ashley smacks him on the head. “None of that pseudoscience in _this_ Kiss & Cry if you please. 

“Well it’s _true_ ,” grumbles Vincent. 

“Enough of Adam’s love life! What about you, Nate?” As Ashley turns her expectant gaze onto him, Nathan feels like a deer caught in headlights. 

“I’m too busy with AP credits to think about dating, Ash.”

“Ah, our little workaholic.”

Ashley looks him over consideringly for a moment before rapidly scrolling through her phone. Just then, the USFSA rep emerges and they end up heading back to the hotel in the shuttle bus. 

It’s when he’s in the relative privacy of his hotel room that Nathan gets the time to check his phone. 

**6 unread messages from «Ashley»**

_ >>found smthg I think you’d like! _

_ >> ;))))) _

_ >>lol forgot one sec that you use emojis instead of emoticons like you’re stuck in 2005 _

_ >>🙃 _

_ >>btw don’t act like ur a grandpa! Go out and get some u know what I mean _

_ >>LINK: _ **_Buzzfeed’s Top 13…_ **

Rolling his eyes inwardly, Nathan clicks on the link and begins to scroll through the article. 

**Top 13 Unmated Omegas Who Are Too Hot For Any Alpha To Handle!**

_Our team at Buzzfeed took polls from single alphas of both genders between the ages 18-32 to determine a very important question—which celebrity omegas do modern alphas dream about—but think are untouchable? Read on to find out!_

**_#3 Japan’s ice prince—Yuzuru Hanyu_ **

_Hanyu was already popular in his home country, but his fame reached explosive levels when he presented as an omega a week after winning the Sochi Olympics. Sources report that his scent is that of jasmine tea—quite fitting for this classic Japanese beauty. Driven, successful and an outspoken advocate for omega rights, Hanyu has no time for courting alphas in his life. That doesn’t mean you can’t admire from afar! With that in mind, we’ve added some of Hanyu’s most gorgeous captures for our alphas to drool over—look, but don’t touch!_

Nathan clicks the back button so fast his phone nearly slips from his grasp. Still, he can’t get the image of Yuzuru’s intent stare out of his head—looking out from the glass screen, blue roses intertwined around him. His lips were bright crimson and there was dark kohl around his eyes. 

~

“What the hell was that article,” he hisses at Ashley the day of the free skate. 

“Hmmm?”

“The Buzzfeed one.”

“Oh _that._ Well, I figured since you’re so repressed now, you needed a jolt of good ol’ omega beauty to remind you not to waste away your youth like a hermit.”

Nathan scoffs, falling into step beside her. 

“God, I can’t look Yuzuru in the eye anymore.”

“Oh, it’s _Yuzuru_ now?”

Nathan raises an eyebrow, refusing to rise to her jab. After a minute, Ashley continues. “Honestly, I’m not surprised he was on the list—the things I’d do to have skin as clear as his…”

Nathan rolls his eyes inwardly. “Well, I’d be grateful if you don’t send me any more dubious Buzzfeed articles in the future.”

“Die alone, for all I care,” says Ashley, twirling her ponytail. 

~ 

Yuzuru, in typical Yuzuru fashion, ends up winning the free skate by doing three ( _three!)_ quads in the second half. Nathan’s gonna have to step up his technical content—he’s done six quads in a program before, but the division's always been 4-2. Next year’s Olympic season; he’s gotta get better. 

“Well, third place is better than nothing,” comments Adam, just as their names are being called out for the victory ceremony. 

“I _hate_ team competitions,” fumes Vincent. 

“Says the guy who got the team the least points,” says Ashley sharply. 

“Ugh, whatever.”

“He’s such a brat,” she mock-whispers to Nathan. 

“He’s a teenager; it’s just to be expected,” he answers, nodding wisely. 

Vincent elbows him sharply in the chest. “You’re only three years older than me!”

“Shush, you guys. We’re on a _podium_ , try to remember that,” says Maia evenly, smiling all the while for the pack of photographers in front of them. 

Team USA devolves into something vaguely resembling order at her words. It’s peaceful until the victory wreaths are being placed on Team Japan’s heads. 

“Why doesn’t everyone get wreaths,” mutters Adam under his breath. 

“You wanna look like Jesus or something?” hisses back Alex. 

Nathan watches as the referee carefully places the wreaths on the heads of the pairs and ice dance team from Japan. Next, it’s the single skaters’ turn. Wakaba and Rika shake hands with the referee. Finally, Yuzuru steps forward. The referee pauses, smile frozen on her lips. 

Yuzuru tilts his head down to accept the wreath. The referee’s hands hover in the air uncertainly. _She doesn’t want to touch him._

Yuzuru seems to realise this himself. Without skipping a beat, he smiles politely at the referee, says, “May I?”, and deftly pulls the wreath from her hands and puts it on his head himself. He gives a deep bow to the crowd and a final regal wave. 

The referee hastily makes her exit. As she passes by Team USA’s podium, Nathan catches a whiff of her scent—sharp and stinging. Alpha. 

~

The gala practice is _chaotic_ , in a word. The choreographer only speaks Japanese which can make communicating with an eclectic crowd of assorted Europeans, Americans and Chinese (and Russians too) a teensy bit difficult. 

The only incident that leaps out to Nathan’s mind later on is when Yuzuru runs through his exhibition program later in the practice. Despite the minimalist black training gear he has on, he still manages to invoke the delicate, pained movements of the dying swan, _notte stellata._

The music is haunting, with lilting crescendos and diminuendos. The mournful Italian lyrics echo through the arena. Yuzuru arches his back into an Ina Bauer as the operatic verse stretches into a long smooth note. 

Nathan’s eyes stay glued on him for one moment too long. He snaps out of it as the choreographer calls out something in Japanese to the lighting crew. Yuzuru glides past him and then—he gives him a quick, sharp smile. Nathan returns it out of instinct. 

Then they move to opposite sides of the rink and soon, Nathan’s too lost in the choreography of the group number to look around. 

~

“This seems like an egregious waste of time,” says Nathan disapprovingly. 

“This isn’t a SAT exam, don’t act so morose,” chides Alex, passing him a red solo cup. 

“I think a SAT exam would be preferable,” he grumbles, nevertheless accepting it. 

“Chin up, Chen,” orders Adam imperiously while cracking open a bottle of wine. 

“Why are we even doing this? There’s a perfectly good banquet where you guys can get wasted—”

“Banquets are _so_ stuffy,” interrupts Ashley, flinging herself onto the sedan couch. She takes a sip of her vodka-martini hybrid and sighs contentedly, before adding, “And you’ve gotta be all polite for the sponsors at the banquet; we can’t even gossip properly!”

“Now, now, Ash,” says Maia, carefully adding orange juice to her cup, “it’s not about the _gossip,_ it’s about the drinks.”

“But the gossip’s important too!” adds Alex. 

Nathan rolls his eyes but stays silent as Adam regales the others with his “insider info” on Canadian Fed politics. He knew it’d been a bad idea to go along with the Shibutanis when they’d said there would be a “li’l victory party” at their hotel room. 

“Well, _I’ve_ got better inside information than that!”

Of course it was Vincent. Nathan resisted the urge to groan. Vincent was fifteen and liable to act that way; Adam had the maturity of a toddler. Nathan wouldn’t be surprised if paper cups would be thrown. 

“Oh yeah? Why dontcha share with the class?”

Vincent puffed up, and Nathan silently mourned his EarPods; he knew he shouldn’t have left them in his room. 

“Well, _I_ heard,” Vincent pauses dramatically, “Yuzuru’s pregnant!”

 _What._ The solo cup nearly slips out of Nathan’s hand. 

“Well he certainly doesn’t look it,” snarked Adam. 

“Lemme finish! So I was training at the Chukyo rink with Hamada- _sensei_ and I heard some of the older skaters talking about it. It came out in one of the Japanese tabloids—”

“Because tabloids are always right,” muttered Maia. 

“—and the rumour was that he had an alpha lover and gotten pregnant and then, y’know—,” Vincent made a slicing gesture in the air, “—gotten rid of it.”

There was momentary silence as they all digested what he’d just said. Vincent took a satisfied sip of his lemonade. _That’ll teach them to underestimate_ me. 

“That’s awful.” The words spill out of Nathan suddenly. 

“Japanese tabloids are vicious,” says Alex, sighing into his beer. 

Ashley opens her mouth to say something and her gaze falls on the electric clock. “Shit, my interview for Ice Talk starts now!”

The gossip session comes to an end as everyone agrees to start laughing at Ash instead. Nathan’s head is too busy to do anything more than crack a grin at her expense before returning to his hotel room.

He lies down for a nap and goes to sleep. The last thought that remains in his head is— _who are you Yuzuru?_

~

Sticking true to tradition, Nathan oversleeps and is late to the banquet. He spends the elevator ride furiously tying his tie and hoping no one else enters. For once, his luck holds. 

The Nagoya banquet is different from most—instead of individual tables for each country, there’s a single long one that reminds Nathan of the tables in _Harry Potter._

About half of the seats are filled; some skaters are busy milling around at the margins, exchanging niceties. Nathan gets waylaid by Charlie White and spends five minutes commiserating over the LA Lakers’ recent loss together. 

After that, he stands at an unobtrusive corner and finally allows himself to mull over what Vincent had said in the morning. 

First; tabloids lied all the time. Second; Nathan thought of Yuzuru as a— _friend._ It seemed almost like a betrayal of his trust to know about something that was… not _private_ but definitely not something he wanted people to know. Nathan’s musings are interrupted as the guy in question arrives. 

There’s a proprietary distance of half a foot between Shoma and Yuzuru as they enter the hall together. They’re still smiling as they converse, though. Nathan’s reminded of NHK—what even happened back there? It’s been five months and he’s nearly forgotten that first, fateful press conference. 

The rest of the night speeds by quickly. Nathan nibbles at sushi, ignores Adam’s offer of a crab pincer and generally tries to keep his head down. As the alcohol flows freely, around him the quiet humdrum of conversation grows louder. 

“Just the guy I’m lookin’ for!”

Nathan’s shaken out of his reverie by the hand that lands on his shoulder. Tom Zakrajsek beams down at him and sidles into the seat next to him. 

Nathan gives the other alpha a polite smile. 

“Hey, Tom. How’ve you been?”

“Ah, never mind me. You’re the man of the night today!”

“Oh no—”

“Over three hundred in total! We all knew you could do it. In fact,” Tom Z leans in secretively, “people are _talking._ ”

Tom Z pauses dramatically. Nathan spears a calamari on his chopstick. 

“And what those people are saying—and I agree with them—is that _you’re_ the guy to beat come Pyeongchang.”

Nathan laughs. 

“Come on, no one can take that seriously. I just turned senior! I haven’t even won a championship yet.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Nate. A six quad free skate is nothing to scoff at.”

Nathan inwardly rolls his eyes at the overly familiar name. 

“The other guys are gonna start adding more quads next season—Yuzuru went 2–3 yesterday and I’ve never landed more than two quads in the second half.”

Tom Z gives a dismissive flick of his hand. “Oh, come on. There hasn’t been a repeat medallist in seventy years. And I don’t see Hanyu landing six quads, huh?”

Nathan doesn’t say anything. 

“Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that me an’ a lot of us at the Fed are rooting for you.” Tom Z sways slightly as he stands up. “You’re gonna be eighteen, next year, that’s when—”

“When alphas physically peak,” murmurs Nathan, thinking back to a desolate stairway. 

“Right on! I just wanted to give you a bit of advice, alpha-to-alpha. Good luck next season!” With that, Tom Z takes his leave. 

Nathan chews on his calamari and digests just what happened. 

He’s seen Tom Z around before—he’s the USFSA representative to this year’s Team Trophy. But why—

“Nathan, hi!”

It’s Yuzuru. He has a glass of fruit punch in one hand, the other tucked into his trouser pocket. Nathan starts to get up from his place but Yuzu motions him to stay put. 

“Coming for ice show this year?”

“Yeah, I’m doing Prince and Stars. You?”

Yuzuru’s lips quirk. “Only Fantasy.”

“I guess we won’t bump into each other then.”

“Yeah. Enjoy in Japan.” With that, Yuzuru gives him a short nod and heads out. Around them, the other skaters have busied themselves in testing out the dance floor (Liza Tuktik’s currently dominating) or testing how many cups of _sakè_ it takes to get drunk (Adam and Ashley). 

No one spots Yuzuru slinking out. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik this chapter was a teensy bit anticlimactic but i just wanna build up the pressure for pyeongchang. we'll have some off season fluff next and serendipitous meetings and then it's off to the angst train for olys :D


	6. vi.

_May 2017, Yokohama_

Nathan loves skating in ice shows—all the wild energy of a competition with none of the pressure. Crowds in Japan are the best. 

The Stars On Ice tour’s just finished it’s second show. The other skaters are busy playing gin rummy. Nathan had politely declined Oda’s invitation in favour of getting a start on his summer reading literature projects. _What significance does Gatsby’s presentation as an omega have on the themes of the novel as a whole?_

“Yuzu- _kun_!” someone exclaims. 

Nathan’s head snaps up. 

There’s Yuzuru on the TV screen. His Sochi medal hangs around his neck. Nathan can’t understand the delicate Japanese syllables but the omega tricolour on the side is unmistakable. 

“It’s Hanyu- _kun_ ’s scent-shaming ad,” says Satoko softly, spotting his inquiring look. 

“It’s great he does stuff like this,” Nathan replies. 

Satoko shifts slightly. Nathan’s never really talked to her before—she’s the top Japanese lady and a beta and she does a lot of painting on Instagram; that’s all he knows. 

“You do not have this problem of scent-shaming in the US, do you?”

“Well, I’ve _heard_ of it, but in the States people don’t really mind if you flaunt your scent.”

Satoko gives a reserved smile. “Yes. I was—surprised, when I went to Detroit to train. But it’s much different here in Japan.”

A momentary exclamation from the gin rummy table causes them both to glance over. 

“How?”

“Well, it starts in the schools. You know, for omega here, if they show their scent it is considered—indecent. So,” Satoko coughs and makes a vague gesture with her palm. 

Nathan can fill in the blanks all too well. Omegas are the dynamic affected the most by scent suppression—if they start on to suppressants just after presenting then—

_(Health problems. Mental issues. Low life expectancy.)_

Unbidden, Janice’s tirade comes to the forefront of his mind. 

Satoko’s still watching him carefully. 

Nathan opens his mouth—

“Hey you two! We need more for blackjack, c’mere.”

“Adam, we are _not_ playing blackjack.”

“Says _who_.”

The room devolves to bickering and Nathan gets sucked into the familiar routine. 

“You’re awful—”

“Well, _you’re—_ ”

“—we _please_ call it a night now?”

“Oh, I don’t think—”

~ 

Like every year, Scott Hamilton books an _onsen_ for the cast to relax at after a gruelling two weeks of non-stop performances. The inn is elegant, with rice paper windows and a rock garden. 

Nathan takes a deep breath, tasting the salt on the wind. It’s similar to and completely different from California at the same time. The tranquility’s dashed by the sound of suitcases tipping over in unison. 

“I told you to take mine out first!”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t stuffed it full so it weighs a ton—”

“Adam, Ash, can you both be adults for one hour?” cuts in Nathan. 

“Oh, look at you.” Ashley wipes an imaginary tear from her cheek. 

“All grown up and bossing us around,” adds Adam smirking. 

“Can you _not_ ,” grumbles Nathan, as they finally enter the reception hall. The rest of the cast’s already there. Tessa Virtue gives the three of them a frosty look as they walk in. Nathan gives an apologetic smile to the other alpha, until she glances away, rolling her eyes. 

“Welcome, welcome!” The proprietress is a little old woman, dressed in a worn _hakama._ She gives a short bow. 

“Your rooms are to the right. Meals will be prepared in the central dining hall. If you take the corridor leading from your rooms, you will find the hot springs. I hope you will all enjoy your stay here.”

As they speak out their individual thanks, Scott Hamilton beams. Nathan catches up to him as they make their way to the dining hall. 

“Classy place, isn’t it?” Scott says jovially. 

“It’s great. But—did you rent out the entire place, Scott? I didn’t see—”

Scott bursts into laughter. “Kid, I’ve got quite a lot in the bank from skating for three decades but I don’t think you get just how expensive Japanese inns are.”

“But then—”

“And the reason there’s hardly anyone here,” Scott pauses and takes a sip of his beer, “is because this is a heat inn.”

Heat inns—another entry in the _Twenty Things You’ll Only Find In Japan_ article Vincent had shown him. Boarding homes where omegas spent the duration of their heat. The best ones had _onsen_ attached. 

“Aren’t only omegas supposed to come to heat inns?” he asks cautiously. 

“Well, the owner made an exception for us. Besides, she said there’s only a few omega here, and they’re all leaving the day after tomorrow. We’re in a different wing and have seperate hot springs and Tessa and Charlie both have mates already.” Scott eyes Nathan. “And _you_ are a very sensible young alpha, so I highly doubt you’d pull off anything stupid.”

Scott’s mild beta scent tickles Nathan’s nose. “Well, yeah.”

Scott smiles. “Eat up, then! You deserve it.” And with that he slurps up another mouthful of _ramen_. 

~

Nathan ends up enjoying the next day thoroughly. He’d had a calming soak in the hot springs and then dragged Adam and Alex off to play _Mario Kart_ with, which he’d won handily. The kimonos the _onsen_ has provided them with had felt strange for a while but now Nathan firmly believed that they were the best articles of clothing invented by the human race—loose and comfortable, but fitting. 

For now, the inn was quiet. Most of the other cast members were asleep after a midnight _sakè_ party and the rest had decided to go sight-seeing. Nathan decides to go for a walk in the rock garden. 

The soft Japanese slippers feel foreign against the soles of his feet but they do their job well enough. 

As Nathan walks along the path plotted out by the architect, the gleam of sunlight on water catches his eye. It’s a koi pond. 

There are only two fish inside—one is a bright reddish-gold, the other a subdued dark. They chase each other round and round in circles, just shy of their tails touching. The sun marks a spot of heat at the back of Nathan’s head. He shifts to move out of the light and spots a figure clad in a dark kimono at the other end of the garden. Boulders and pebbles separate them and then Nathan tastes jasmine tea at the back of his throat. 

“ _Yuzuru_?”

Yuzuru clambers unencumbered over the rocks, an easy grace in his every movement. The koi pond separates them now. 

Yuzuru’s kimono hangs loose over his shoulders. Suspended against the ancient grandeur of the rock garden, Yuzuru looks like a painting. Sunlight dapples his skin and shadows his eyes. 

“Hey, Nathan.” Yuzuru smiles like he had that day at Haneda Airport while camera shutters were clacking away. 

This is a heat inn; Yuzuru’s an omega. It doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together. 

“I didn't expect to see you here.” A pause. “Are you leaving soon?”

“Tomorrow.”

The rock garden has flowers too, Nathan knows; but the only one he can smell is heady fragrant jasmine. The alpha in him _wants_ . The human in him _controls._

In Yuzuru’s eyes echoes a challenge. Nathan doesn’t know what exactly it is, but he’s determined to not fail. So he smiles. “It’s a pity you aren’t staying on; the others would’ve liked to catch up.”

“I come here for my heat,” Yuzuru says matter-of-factly. 

Nathan eyes him steadily. “I know that.”

Yuzuru’s eyes widen in surprise for just a moment. The sound of silence fills the rock garden and then finally, Yuzuru asks softly, “You don’t mind?”

“Why would I?”

“You’re alpha.” Yuzuru looks surprised to hear his own words. “I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” says Nathan softly. He crouches at the edge of the koi pond. “We haven’t known each other for long; I wouldn’t expect you to trust me.”

Yuzuru’s silence hurts more than expected. 

“I’ll get going then,” says Nathan, hoisting himself back up. He can feel Yuzuru’s eyes on him as he takes the stone path back to the inn. 

“Did something happen?” asks Maia later at dinner. 

Nathan gulps down his beef. “Not really.”

The proprietress makes a surprise visit, smiling as widely as she had when they’d first arrived. “You can move around as much as you wish now. All the wings are free!”

“So—the omegas there have left?” Nathan poses the question casually. 

“Yes, yes of course. Many hours ago!”

Nathan doesn’t try to analyse what he feels any further and decides to drown his sorrows in _ramen._

~

**05/04/2017 11:59 PM**

**_< <happy birthday naaaaathan_ **

**_< <oh no_ **

**_< <did I send it too early again_ **

**_> >yes_ **

**_< <NOOOOO_ **

**_< <I set a reminder and everything too_ **

**_< <this is cos you’re in a different time zone_ **

**_> >janice u mess up every year_ **

**_< < …_ **

**_< <oKAY WHATEVER_ **

**_> >i wanted to ask u something _ **

**_< <?_ **

**_> >so if like I’m sort of friends with a person but they’re really famous and have a lot of pressure on them what should I do _ **

_[Janice] is typing_

**_< <it depends_ **

**_< <are they an omega_ **

**_> >yes_ **

**_< <nate ik I’ve told you abt how hard it was for me to get into an elective full of alphas at uni _ **

**_< <but there’s some things I left out_ **

**_< <I never ever EVER went on dates or even group parties_ **

**_< <it’s just too easy for ppl to brand you as that omega who’s only here to find an alpha to leech off_ **

**_< <my advice is to give them some space. you’re a great guy and they’ll see it in time_ **

**_> >jan im so sorry u had to go thru that_ **

**_< <don’t be, I’m in a better place now _ **

**_< <but just take my advice and let them feel like they don’t have to put on barriers with you_ **

**_> >ok_ **

**_> >thank you janice _ **

**_< <anytime_ **

**_~_ **

_To:_ _nathanwchen@gmail.com_

_From:_ _faoi@p &gjapan.co _

**Dear Nathan,**

**We would be pleased to invite you to be part of the cast of the 2017 Fantasy On Ice Japan Tour. Due to unexpected circumstances, one of our slots is still open and we feel that you would be a perfect fit with our current cast.**

**We are prepared to offer you a fixed rate per show and arrange accommodation at every tour stop. Please send your RSVP and contact Mr. F. Kaze for any queries.**

**The Tour is planned to travel through a pre-arranged list of cities, namely Niigata, Osaka…**

~

“ _Fantasy_ invited you!?” Alex and Maia stare at Nathan. 

“Yeah. I can’t believe it either.”

“ _‘Unexpected circumstances_ ,’ what could that be?” Alex studies the email. 

“Maybe someone’s injured?” suggests Maia dubiously. 

Nathan shakes his head. “Skating’s such a tight-knit place, we’d know right away.”

“You’re gonna go for it, right?”

“Definitely. Gotta get in that ice time before the Olympics rolls around.”

“As if you need it,” says Alex, playfully punching Nathan’s shoulder. 

Nathan laughs but he can’t shake off the feeling that’s there’s more to play here. 

_Oh well. I’ll figure it out._

~

“You’re going to Fantasy?” Tessa asks the question brusquely when the cast’s on their way to the tour bus. 

_Why does everyone keep asking me that._

“Yes.”

“Huh. Yuzu must like you a lot to invite you to his show.”

Nathan frowns. “It’s produced by P&G.”

Tessa rolls her eyes. “C’mon Chen, you’re smart. P&G sponsor Yuzu, and Yuzu’s the reason Fantasy’s always sold out. Anyways, it should be fun having you along.”

She grabs her mate Scott by the wrist and together they sashay their way to the front of the tour bus, leaving Nathan to mull over what he just heard. 

In the end, Nathan decides to push his scattered thoughts away—what mattered most was that he’d be getting the chance to be a part of FaOI this year. Everything else could come later. 

~

“Hey, Raf. Just thought I’d tell you that I’m going to be joining Fantasy this year.”

“I’m _not_ getting ripped off.”

“ _Yes,_ Raf, thank you. Bye.”

What was it about Russians and paranoia anyways? Nathan respected Raf and all, but he drew the line at ice shows being a cover for drug trafficking. Then again, this _was_ the country where Alexei Yagudin’s physiotherapist had apparently hypnotized Evgeni Plushenko into losing the Olympics; nothing was too far-fetched compared to that.

And with that last thought, Nathan drifts off to a fitful sleep.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys~ sorry for the hiatus :(  
> i'll try to update on a more regular basis! thank you for sticking w this weird au i thought up at 3am...  
> im not totally satisfied with this chapter but we'll get to see cute hijinks at faoi next chapter so look forward to that :D

**Author's Note:**

> so i _tried_ to mirror irl as much as possible. but there's some *ahem* artistic license. will try to update regularly but no promises xD


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